Movie Review: ‘Silent Hill: Revelation’

silent-hill-revelation-3d-poster-nurse

Films spawned from video games have been some of the most reviled among movie goers, and the people behind Silent Hill: Revelation seemed to have resigned themselves to the bad reputation. If you were hoping they might surprise us by breaking the mold and doing something awesome, you’re bound to be disappointed. Instead, they made an old-fashioned money-grab. There’s just not that many horror movies to choose from this Halloween season, so fans are having to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get their fix – and this movie might actually be lurking in the slime under the barrel.

There’s not much to say about the story here because, well – there’s just not much of a story to talk about. Sean Bean and Radha Mitchell reprise their roles from the original film, as Chris (aka Harry) and Rose DeSilva. Their daughter, Alessa (aka Heather, and played by Adelaide Clemens), is all grown up and on the run with her father. As her 18th birthday looms on the horizon, she is plagued by nightmares that begin creeping into her waking life. The mysterious figures who have been following them are getting closer, and when her dad is eventually kidnapped, she finds herself lured back to Silent Hill to save him.

Sure, writer/director Michael J. Bassett tosses in some shiny baubles here and there (including the laughable “seal of Metatron”, which I initially mis-heard as Megatron – the inclusion of which, ironically, would have made this a much better movie) but these things are clearly evident for what they are – lame attempts at adding some depth to a paper-thin plot.

More than once we are treated to large swaths of exposition, apparently in an attempt keep some of the slower folks in the audience from falling too far behind, while giving the rest of us an opportunity for a much deserved nap.

The one highlight of the movie is the monsters – some new and some returning from the original film. Pyramid Head and the creepy nurses are back and as awesome as ever, with the aforementioned Mr. “Head” displaying some surprising depth. By the end of the film, you’re almost feeling sorry for him (though nowhere near as sorry as I feel for the supporting cast – Malcolm McDowell and Carrie-Anne Moss should fire their agents.) New for Revelation is a mannequin monster – a spider-like creature made from old mannequin parts, that skitters up the walls and provides the some of the only truly creepy moments in the whole film.

But perhaps the worst thing about Silent Hill: Revelation is that it is only offered in the 3D format, which just maximizes the carnage on the wallets of the desperate souls who fall into this unfortunate trap.

The bottom line – if you’re hard up for some Halloween entertainment and dying to get off the couch, don’t get sucked in by this bottom dweller. Go see Sinister again, or better yet rent a DVD and have movie night at a friend’s house. But what ever you do, stay away from Silent Hill.

Rating: 1.5/5 ★½☆☆☆ 

Seriously. Don’t do it…

avatar

About Dave_P

Dave_P studied fine arts and film history and is a graphic and web designer, and a diehard movie fan. David has been involved with a variety film festivals including the Cinephile Film Festival, the PRIDE Film festival, and the Manhattan Short Film festival, and is currently the director of the Dark Carnival Film Fest in Bloomington, Indiana. (www.darkcarnivalfilmfest.com)

Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Comments are closed.

Social Widgets powered by AB-WebLog.com.