The Jasons – Get Fucked (2016)
Horror punk comes in many forms, but rarely is there a group with the laser focus – or insane obsession – to dedicate their whole band, and each album, to one particular horror sub-set. The Jasons are such a band, and the Friday the 13th franchise – encompassing three decades and twelve films (not to mention a television series, novels, comic books, and video games) – is their genre. The Jasons – each member a different incarnation of Jason from different entries in the series – are not quite as prolific…yet. With the release of their third studio album, Get Fucked, they’re proving that our favorite hockey-masked mama’s boy can be the inspiration for a catalogue of songs as expansive as his body count.
After a voice-mail skit opening, the album explodes with pure punk lunacy on “Get Fucked,” taking its inspiration from the stoners in Friday the 13th Part 3 and hot rod punks Pete and Vinne from the underrated Friday the 13th: A New Beginning . It’s a fast and brutal punch to the ears that serves as a great opening to a great album. The lunacy continues, as well as the love for A New Beginning, with (no pun intended) “Looney Bin,” taking its chorus from the outhouse duet – “ooh, baby, oo-ooh, baby” – originally sung by the characters Demon and Anita. Likewise, later in the album, “New Wave Girl” is a punk rock love song dedicated to Violet, a character from the same chapter in the franchise. “Violet’s never been in love, unless you count the Culture Club,” sings Jason V of one of the series’ most memorable victims. Like the rest of the songs on this album, as well as some of The Jasons’ past songs on previous albums, the song is a perfect blend of punk earnestness and brattiness, conveying a tone of serious songwriting with tongue planted firmly in cheek.
The fun continues throughout the album, with the one-two punch of “American Slasher” and “I Can’t Stop Killing,” followed by “I Wanna Be An Asshole,” an answer/call-out of sorts to the Menzingers’ “I Don’t Wanna Be An Asshole Anymore,” (whose music video prominently featured Jason Voorhees as an emo, lovesick teenager). “Death Curse” breaks up the sound a little bit, with machine gun vocals coming at an “I like food, food tastes good” pace. “Final Friday” is a great anthem, sounding very much like – in the The Jasons’ own words – late 80’s Ramones, with a female vocal (seemingly embodying Pamela Voorhees) adding some great contrast to The Jasons’ very enjoyable sausage party. “Tommy Was A Teenage Mutilator,” a great ode to Jason’s arch-nemesis Tommy Jarvis, features an excellent guitar solo… which proves to be a point of contention between two of The Jasons at the end of the track. “Cropsy Was My Only Friend” continues in the great tradition of The Jasons’ “Camp Arawak” by name-checking another famous summer camp killer, this time detailing a friendship between Voorhees and the killler from The Burning. Stated simply – this is some badass shit. The album ends with “Tina’s Got Telekinesis,” (an ode to Tina Shepard from Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood, featuring the brilliant lyric “if she had a unitard, she could join the X-men!”) and “I Don’t Wanna Masturbate To You (But I Do),” an excellent closing track to a wholly excellent album.
In every way – and, much like their two previous albums (their self-titled debut The Jasons and their sophomore effort Stalk and Slash Summer), the album is a blazing success, combining excellent vocals (vo-kills?) from Jason V, blistering guitar from Jason R (a.k.a. Hollywood), and supported by a strong rhythm section consisting of Jason 3D on bass and Jason Hell on drums. The vocal work, specifically, is great, but that’s not to diminish the rest of the band’s work on this album. Pressed to come up with anything to complain about, I’d say this: I’m going to have to wait a for another new album from The Jasons. Get Fucked can do anything but get fucked, and gets my highest recommendation. This is pure, badass, Camp Crystal Lake punk rock, and I loved every second of it.
Get Get Fucked, and other merch from The Jasons, here: http://www.thejasons.bigcartel.com
Nathan Erdel is a screenwriter. He wrote Headless and some other stuff. He likes beer, metal, pizza, and horror. He has three cats and one wife.